“My Jewish lawyers have advised me to say that I do not support, nor would I ever actually fund, a cum assault on any sitting US Senator. These comments were said in jest and should not be taken seriously. Please do not fling anything, even cum, at Ted Cruz’s face. Thank u”
— Last night, readers of the conservative garbage heap known as Twitchy.com got very butthurt over a tweet I wrote about flinging cum on Sen. Ted Cruz’s face. So here’s the response I crafted with the help of my Jewish lawyers.
Here is a sample of a compelling comment
Very excited to announce we’ll be hitting the road with Cheap Girls, Hard Girls & Dogbreth this summer. Tickets on sale Friday!
Andrew Jackson Jihad w/ Cheap Girls & Dogbreth:
Weds June 18 – Cleveland Heights, OH – Grog Shop
I will not miss AJJ at the Grog twice
Matt Walsh on Comedy Bang! Bang!
Andrew Jackson Jihad ‘Christmas Island’ Artwork, Track Listing
I’m digging this single but I gotta say the live version from Crescent Ballroom kicks more. Regardless, I can’t wait for the new record to drop.
Stream Joe Mande’s comedy mixtape “B***hface” featuring drops from A$AP Yams, Amy Poehler, Roy Hibbert, and more
LISTEN TO MY WHOLE ALBUM RIGHT NOW FOR FREE ON COMPLEX.COM.